*Updated post - new Living Books added!*
Save the date! Come and ‘borrow’ our Living Books on the 21st and 23rd March.
The inclusive services group and Faith & Community @CampusLife are working together to present a Living Books event as part of the Bigger Picture Festival in March 2023.
The purpose of the event is to promote dialogue, reduce prejudices and encourage understanding through human interaction. Living Books will share a significant personal experience or perspective on life. Visitors to the event can borrow a Living Book for a 15-minute personal conversation during which they are encouraged to ask questions and learn more about the Book’s story.
You can talk to our Books at Taliesin Create, Singleton Campus on the 21st March and in Y Twyni, Bay Campus on the 23rd March. There’s no need to register, but please note that Living Books are giving their time freely and need to work around other their commitments, so they won’t all be available when you visit. Confirmed Living Books are:
Amber Arrowsmith
DAN-15
The meaning of this abbreviation is just one of the many things I have learnt that I pray with all my heart other people never have to fully understand.
Two weeks before the UK entered official Covid-19 restrictions, my family were already in their own self-imposed ‘lockdown’. Our daughter had attempted suicide in school. Again. She was no longer considered safe to attend. We asked the GP for help. Again. It had not been forthcoming for the previous two years. We were told she did not look like a typical depressed teenager. The official advice: take up badminton.
Then came the Pandemic. My team, being the Front of House for IT were extremely busy helping people to get set up to WFH. Everyone faced their own unique challenges, personally and professionally. I worked harder from my kitchen table that March than I have ever worked in my life. I was exhausted by April. In May, I noticed that my daughter was not eating much and was increasingly withdrawn. We asked for help. Again. Services were no longer operating. Sorry.
Seeing my vibrant, funny, high-achieving and extremely loving daughter become consumed by the evil of Anorexia Nervosa was like watching a horror film unfold in my own home. Where did this insidious beast come from? Had it been lurking all along? What had given it the power it needed to destroy my daughter? The only thing I knew for sure was that this beast was not welcome.
I read everything I could. I contacted everyone I could. I did everything I could. Again, again, again….
Eventually, caring became a full-time responsibility in addition to my usual parenting role. Trust me when I say that they are not the same thing. I had to take time out of work. This was incredibly hard for me. Guilt had a major impact on my own well-being. Not least the guilt of not making this decision sooner.
Following more suicide attempts than my heart can bare, countless self-harm incidents and a 6-month admission at a Children’s Mental Health Facility , my daughter was diagnosed with Quiet BPD. Four whole years after she first asked for help.
Having turned eighteen, she was discharged from CAMHS in June and has since been transferred to Adult Mental Health Services. She remains seriously unwell and requires 24/7 support, but she is in recovery from the BPD symptom of Anorexia Nervosa and as I write this, she is getting ready for a meal out with her friends. I have returned to work and she is halfway through her final year in college. We are closer than ever.
We are also armed with information, risk assessments and coping strategies now but the thing that has got us thorough it all is hope. Finding solace in the small things every day. And that is where the kindness of strangers has played a vital role and why I am sharing my story and my hope with you.
Em Cookson-Williams
Non-binary in a binary world.
To say I came out as non-binary at 30 sounds too simplistic. I come out as non-binary on a daily basis. Some days my gender identity doesn’t play a big part in my interactions or connections and I feel able to be fluid in my existence, just being me, being Em. Other days my gender identity is brought into sharp focus, having to duck and dive around gender binary norms and expectations and make swift decisions on whether to speak my truth and break the binary (and sometimes people’s minds) or whether to oblige in sitting in the box marked 0 or 1 picked out for me.
In many ways I wish the language around being non-binary had become available to me at a younger age. I do wonder whether being older makes it harder – so many more relationships and connections made that need to be updated on who I am or corrected in how to identify me. Strangely I do find it easier to correct misgendering with people I have just met rather than my own friends and family. But should I have to correct misgendering at all? Is it my responsibility alone to reshape the binary framing of the people in my world, where I am non-binary.
Tara Crank
My book will be characterised by the growth throughout my life - including my love of my work, my identity as a mixed race person and my passion for learning all sorts. All this has led me to some places I've personally found totally amazing...and incredibly difficult, including representing Great Britain at a fencing competition in France...without any safety equipment or even a sword! My most recent endeavour is finding a way to light a fire with a banana.
I am fortunate to be able to say I have nature as a key part of my every day life - in work and in my home life. I travel all around the UK for my work, teaching people about wildlife, nature, bushcraft and sensitive outdoor living skills. Some of my main work is to train professionals and to work with adults who struggle with their mental health. I am also a musician and love to share songs whether on the stage or around a fire. I feel I have learned a huge deal about myself in the last couple of years that has given me a new freedom with which to see and explore the world. I look forward to sharing this with you in the library.
Mohsen El-Beltagi
There were many challenges I had to face when moving to the UK. As I came from an Arab culture and Muslim society, I found it very challenging to be familiar with the British culture and different faiths environments.
I was convinced by my surroundings that the idea or perception of the western society such as the UK was quite negative. I had many thoughts on whether society would accept me for my religion, and I was afraid of getting judged and treated differently from others. This is due to my influenced thoughts of the UK not being welcoming and often judging of others and ethnic minorities. Over the first years of my experience in the UK, my viewership and speculations expeditiously changed. So I would like to share with my readers the challenges that I have faced and my own personal experience, specifically how I have overcome and built upon them.
Kirsty Hill
Life with stripes
The zebra is often used as a symbol for rare medical conditions, based on a quote by Dr. Theodore Woodward:
“When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.”
Life isn’t always black and white, it doesn’t always conform to straight lines, my life is certainly no exception. Born with Fraser Syndrome (a very rare genetic condition), my life has been full of labels: ‘deaf-blind’, ‘disabled’, all of which have impacted on my sense of inclusion, and expectations of me by others. I spent many years feeling alone, never wanting to accept my condition as part of who I am, because I felt misunderstood, like I was the only one.
However, developing several chronic conditions (on top of my existing disabilities) during my teenage years, has thought me that sometimes having a label can give answers, shedding light on the depth of issues that can be invisible to others.
So here I am, just another zebra, standing on the other side of countless surgeries/medications, with more likely to come. Uncertainty still lies ahead, but I am proud to showcase my uniqueness, and determined to ‘wear my stripes’!
Theresa Ogbekhiulu
Moving from Nigeria, to Swansea University, an institution with predominantly White students was a pivotal point in understanding my identity as a part of a "minority".
Although the cultural diversity was evident, I always thought the University could do more to celebrate the diversity and support students from those backgrounds. Rather than standing on the side-lines of change, I decided to be a part of the change by occupying student leadership positions, influencing policies, lobbying the University's leadership, and now directly responsible for that change. Find out more when you speak to me.
Shaun, the Rock and Roll Outlaw
I was born in London to Irish parents. We have a very large and loving family and they mean the world to me. They have been a great support throughout my life. Rock music has been my constant companion. I’m also a devoted Spurs supporter. I moved to Swansea in 2004 and I absolutely love it here. My volunteering work at Discovery has been my rock. I’ve made friends and made a contribution to local life. I hate violence. My biggest wish is for everyone to live in peace and listen to rock and roll music every day.
Sophie Smith
(Sophie can talk to you in Welsh or in English)
Back in the good ol’ days pre-pandemic (remember those?!), I’d been through a bit of a tunnel in my life over a few years where major things that could go wrong were doing just that. In a period of two years, I’d found myself as a single mother to two boys and in a dark spiral of drama with their father, which eventually lead to police and court involvement. Running alongside this, I had to have an emergency surgery on my back due to debilitating back pain I had suffered with for many years, I had an unexpected and at the time upsetting career change with all the adjustments that entails, and my mother had been in hospital for a prolonged period of time with heart problems… You know when you just when you start to creak under the weight of it all, and think you can keep going no longer? I was at that point. No more upheaval or crises, please! I just had to tread-water to keep afloat somehow. And then came the wave of Covid and the initial lockdown….
The era of Covid was so very hard for so many people but, for me, it has been a period of rejuvenation, healing and self-rediscovery. Having just come out of a long, rather miserable period of my life, suddenly we found ourselves cooped up in a strange twilight zone of not-knowing and confusion. And yet as the restrictions eased, my two boys and I found solace in going to play in the waves of various Swansea beaches and I reconnected with a part of me that I had neglected for some two decades. I’d only ever swum in the pool as a child, and never in the sea. And so little did I know that within two years of pootling about in the sea in a woolly hat I’d conquer the English Channel and be one of fewer than 2,500 people to do so, and only 800 women at that. (Over 30,000 people have climbed Everest, for comparison!). I’d swum a lot as a child but a feeling of failure and inadequacy when it came to swimming had lingered because though I had been a good swimmer, I had never been fast. Swimming had been a part of the narrative of my family, with a swimming coach as a grandfather and an aunt and an uncle who reached very high levels of competitive swimming and a mother who’d worked as a beach lifeguard. Having not been ‘that type of swimmer’, I had turned my back on it and drifted away, haunted by the thought that I had been the one who failed at it. And yet thanks to the pandemic, I’ve returned to my past almost, and fallen in love with the water and swimming again. And to the young child who felt embarrassed of always coming last, I can look back now as the adult I am and confront some of those demons and put them to bed.
Siân Thomas
It was an Instagram Reel. “Oh, that’s funny” I thought as the random video showed a few aspects of Women with ADHD. They resonated with me but didn’t cause any further thought. Then the cookies learned I watched it and generated more on my Reel feed. Then it started getting almost spooky. Urgency to speak in social situations? Tick. Have a directors commentary in your head when you’re speaking to people? Hey, how did they know that? Buy all you need for a hobby and then get bored of it after a few weeks? Yep. Reminder to self: invent a Hobby Swap App where I can hand over my origami materials for a starter kit to crochet.
After being called out by the internet I decided to investigate properly. I checked an 18-question screening questionnaire which was full of little personal attacks. I laughed through it because it was such a relief to be seen, to suddenly discover a list of things describing me. An explanation. So many things nuanced to this diagnosis.
For every 4 males that get diagnosed with ADHD, 1 female does. Source. There is currently a huge movement of people assigned female at birth being diagnosed because this information has shown us that actually, just because you weren’t Bart Simpson in school, doesn’t mean you don’t have ADHD. We tend to have in-brain hyperactivity. Some of us are all singing and dancing with bells on. Some are more inattentive. Some compulsive. Some all 3, hyperactive, compulsive and innatentive. Hello, that’s me. Got to be special, see.
By sharing my story I have caused a few people to pursue their own diagnosis. I have been an active invisible disability campaigner for 5+ years and have seen first-hand how sharing information can help people feel less alone and even find answers. I am also keen to squash misconceptions about ADHD. I feel an ADHD person is a necessary addition and enhancement to any workplace, friendship, relationship or even pub quiz team. Oh my goodness, the trivia we know and have retained in our brains. I think other ADHD’ers feel the same so we do tend to accidentally make friends with one another, even undiagnosed people. (Magnets?)
By the time you meet me I’ll be 7 months into an official ADHD diagnosis and over a year into suspecting I have it. I have learned so much since. Such as 80% of people with ADHD have one parent with it and that didn’t surprise me one bit as during my research and learning, I was painting a complete picture of me but also my lovely Mam.
I am 36 and so have been masking and managing ADHD my entire life, therefore I can be a book that will listen attentively to your question, not interrupt you and try and stick to the point. I guarantee to take you the scenic route in my answers though. It’s a ride.
Do you wonder what it’s like to be diagnosed with ADHD as an adult? To move to a different country where you’re suddenly the minority? To support a child through terrible mental health difficulties? To challenge preconceptions about yourself? Our Living Books do and they want to talk to you about it! On the 21st and 23rd March, you’ll have the chance to borrow our Books for a 15-20 minute conversation about themselves. Get a taste of their story on our previous blog post and see their availability below. (There’s no need to register, but please note that Living Books are giving their time freely and need to work around other their commitments, so they won’t all be available when you visit.)
11.00-16.00 Tuesday 21st March – Taliesin Create, Singleton Park Campus
Amber Arrowsmith, Em Cookson-Williams, Mohsen El-Beltagi, Kirsty Hill, Theresa Ogbekhiulu, Shaun, Sophie Smith and Siân Thomas
11.00-16.00 Thursday 23rd March – Y Twyni, Bay Campus
Tara Crank, Mohsen El-Beltagi, Theresa Ogbekhiulu, Shaun and Siân Thomas